There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Sorry about my life...
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
