im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
