marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
