Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
