Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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