is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
