you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
