i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
