This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
