she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
two words...techno handjob
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
