Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Send help, water and tortillas.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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