Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
