Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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