Midget sex pt 2 tonight
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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