I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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