My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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