Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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