the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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