Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my sisters under your porch take her home
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
