Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
