It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
