That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
