you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
