I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Semen is not good for contacts.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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