I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
