I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize