Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
