she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
