Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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