is your mom at the bar?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize