everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
