I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
