Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
