you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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