Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
