their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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