The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
