Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
