I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
