party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
