who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
