oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I enjoy the company of your penis
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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