Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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