so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
