My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
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