We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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