Kiss
Puke
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
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