I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
