What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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