there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hippo gnu deer
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
