it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
