they need to just BURY HIM!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize