Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
