either way he was missing a nipple.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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