11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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