Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
