She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
