We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wear drunk well.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
