Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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