At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
