so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
