What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
