You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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