I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
