I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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