I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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