my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
