whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize