i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
