and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
