I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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