we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
