is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
