Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
