i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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