we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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