you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
