you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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